Errors in upbringing that spoil children and thus harm them

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Of: Jasmine Farah


Spoiled, under-challenged and selfish: Studies show that parents harm children by giving them too much or taking everything away from them.

The wardrobe overflows, the children’s room is full of toys and the little ones are showered with gifts: many parents only want to do something good for their offspring. They show their love by giving them everything they need and also want. The offspring must not lack anything, they must have the best possible start in life. But some overlook that their children could later suffer from it.

Parental mistakes that spoil children and thus harm them

When children receive too many gifts, they learn that status symbols are more important than anything else. © Creatista/Imago

What sounds paradoxical has now been confirmed by a number of studies. According to this, offspring who get more than enough for them should be at high risk of later maturing into adults for whom money and status symbols and their acquisition are more important than anything else. This means that if children are constantly spoiled, they will have problems behaving socially acceptable and being integrated into society in the future.

They grow up always being dissatisfied with the status quo, everything can and must revolve around them. And according to psychologist Amy Morin, who works for the online family magazine very good family writes, the research situation shows that it is not just the expensive toys alone. Many children also become overburdened with social obligations—piano lessons here, soccer practice there—leaving them little time to enjoy their childhood and youth.

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Parental mistakes: Spoiled children have a harder time later

At the same time, they should not help with the household chores, although it can also be a lot of fun to learn how to cook. This dissatisfaction with one’s own life can ultimately continue into adulthood, where depression or other mental illnesses can be a possible consequence. A study from 2015 in the trade journal Journal of Consumer Research have also shown that children who always get everything later internalized two beliefs:

  • 1. Owning quality things and having a number of status symbols is the definition of success.
  • 2. Having certain products makes you more attractive.

These two assumptions usually developed through the parenting style or through what they had already experienced at home. In particular, offspring who experience this and also have the feeling of disappointing their parents would particularly often have sought solace in material possessions. The same applies to offspring if mom and dad spend some time with them, compensating for the loneliness with toys and electronic devices.

Parenting mistakes: Spending more time with children helps

According to the psychologist, this means not giving children anything at all. At the same time, parents should teach them to be grateful for it and show it. In addition, it is better not to shower them with gifts due to lack of time, but to consciously take time for them, to take them for a walk or to play in the park.

Finally, set a good example, be nice to other people, and don’t put money or anything of value above people. Also, praise your child when they are generous or kind to someone else. Finally, if you emphasize these positive qualities and generally put people before objects, your child will have an easier time recognizing the really important things in life.

This article contains only general information about the respective health topic and is therefore not intended for self-diagnosis, treatment or medicine. It in no way replaces a doctor’s visit. Unfortunately, our editors are not allowed to answer individual questions about clinical images.

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