If dry and toilet training is a big problem in your family right now – just like it is for us – you probably have your hands full. And even the most laid-back parents among us sometimes reach their limits when it comes to this topic. Unnecessary pressure and fear of failure can quickly spread on both sides. Time for a new mindset and some great phrases that will relax you and strengthen your child – no matter what age they are.
Dehydration is often an emotionally charged topic: Some parents just sweat thinking about it, others can hardly wait until their baby finally stops wearing diapers.
Likewise, some children seek independence from an early age, while others take much longer to be ready to give up the safety of diapers. And both are ok! For we know that children who become dry are a natural process that does not require any help from us parents. It is based on their individual physical development, which we can support and strengthen with our confidence.
Why Montessori is so inspiring
So what can help your kids AND you through the time it takes to get dry? I myself am a big fan of respectful parenting and lazy parents, two parenting styles that build on our children’s independence and draw a lot of inspiration from Maria Montessori. It goes without saying that there are also many nice phrases in their teaching that we can use in “purity teaching”. And they help us parents to give our children more trust and independence.
What does Montessori stand for?
Maria Montessori’s teaching stands for treating children with respect and focusing on their individuality. It is valued by several educators worldwide because it promotes qualities such as self-determination, self-confidence, resilience and good communication skills. What is valuable to our children also helps to relieve us parents.
Because instead of claiming that we need to be in control of everything, we can focus on supporting our children when they need us. Therefore, the values of Montessori are good for sobriety and all other aspects of parenting and help strengthen your parent-child relationship.
Montessori items
- To treat children with respect
- Promote freedom and independence
- promote individuality
- Support freedom with clear boundaries
- Give children time and space to explore and learn new things
- Follow the child: observe developmental steps and respond to them instead of trying to create them
- Meet children as equals
- use adult language
- Mindfulness: Assume a primarily observational role
7 Montessori phrases to dry
The following sentences will help you encourage your child to take responsibility for their own body. And they will help you shift your mindset from “We have to do it somehow” to “I help you do it myself.” For Montessori, it is not about “potty training”, a term that literally suggests that we should train our child something. It is about learning to use the pot as a tool for its most natural development.
# 1 Your diaper is wet. Come on, we’ll put a fresh one on you!
You can use this with your baby before he even becomes interested in potty training. Part of the Montessori idea is to strengthen children’s natural attachment to their body and their understanding of its functions. This works a little better with cloth diapers, but even with disposable diapers, children learn quite quickly when they are full. Even your two- or three-year-old child can get used to telling you when it’s wet or even take it off and bring a new one.
# 2 You are (already) so stable, today we are packing you up standing.
If we think about it, the wrapping is something very passive. Of course, you can get your child to help you and get diapers, wet wipes and cream handed out to you. And movements like lifting the pelvis to put on a diaper can also be easily integrated.
As soon as your child can get up well, you can also start shifting it upright. In this way, it learns that it can actively participate in the process. At the same time, it has the opportunity to get to the diaper change by itself (which of course does not always work, but it is a good start).
And from experience: I started a little later when I was two years old. But my kids thought it was much better to change diapers while standing than to have to “stand still” and wait while lying down. In addition, it is a major transition to more freedom.
The right time …
That assumes Maria Montessori between 12 and 18 months the ideal time is to start potty training. It is not about leaving out the diaper or getting completely dry, but about dealing with the subject. With our phrases it works great! Many of them are also good for older children or can be changed if your child no longer has a nappy on during the day, but can not manage to get to the potty / toilet in time for various reasons.
# 3 Let’s go to the toilet to change diapers!
One aspect of Montessori education is to establish the connection between the bathroom and toilet visits at an early age. This can be perfectly combined with the above point: As soon as you change your child’s standing, you can go to the toilet more often and it can e.g. B. hold on to the edge of the tub. Or you do it step by step and pack z. B. Always before and after bathing, brushing teeth or going to bed in the bathroom.
# 4 You can now wear underwear.
Here, too, it can take a very different amount of time before you or your child is ready to switch from bodysuits to underwear (they are just so practical, especially when it’s cold!). With my first child, we waited until he went into the potty regularly and then skipped the diapers over. Waterproof training pants are also great here, because not everything goes wrong right away, but your child will feel when they are wet.
My other has just started his potty training but has been wearing underwear like his big brother (over the diaper) for several months now.
In any case, it will be much easier for your child to undress and undress himself if he does not have to work with push buttons and can potty without the body getting in the way. So if you notice that your child is starting to get interested in the topic, you can start offering them underwear.
# 5 Do you want to potty?
Whether and when to use the potty is ultimately your child’s decision. In Montessori teaching, it is important to get your consent instead of snatching it and rushing it to the pot. And let it take the next step itself.
Many children are interested in the pot from the age of 1, so they are welcome to try it. But no matter how young or older: it’s about testing, about experience, not about the result. If there is nothing in the pot, it is no problem at all. At some point, your child will be ready without your help.
# 6 Your pants are wet. Let’s move you.
“Accidents” can and can happen on the way to getting dry, it is completely natural! Therefore, it is good to be careful not to arouse negative feelings or feelings of shame when something goes down in the pants / next to the pot / in the new sofa – even though it can be exhausting for us parents.
After all, it is also a – often unpleasant – surprise for your children. Rather be neutral, respectful and explain to your child how to handle the situation. So next time, they already know what the next step is and may feel more confident.
# 7 You went to the bathroom as mom and dad!
The Montessori style is more reserved when it comes to euphoric praise. This can quickly lead to pressure, especially when it comes to potty training, because our children feel that we expect something specific from them. Of course, you can rejoice with your child if he is happy with the result in the pot.
However, you can focus on the fact that he has mastered the new routine instead of the girl ending up at the destination, or that there is something in the pot at all. The real goal is that it learns to go to the toilet like us adults.
Dry without pressure
Our body is a sensitive subject, especially when we question its natural development and respond to it with emotion. Our children are pretty good at following their bodies and embracing natural processes.
They know best when something changes and what they then need from us. Therefore, it may be better to trust them and let them show the way than to hope or criticize for rapid progress. Because as soon as we (even unconsciously and well-meaningly) put pressure on our children, we can make this development unnecessarily difficult for them. And even long-term problems can arise.
Take your time!
As a mother of two, I know all too well the uncertainty many of us have on the subject. For getting dry is also a topic that families like to compare themselves with or some point out what “their child already can”.
It is not uncommon for the pressure to come from daycare, kindergarten and daycare when a child “lags behind” in the group. Or simply because we notice that many others are already further along.
Wiping is like natural weaning, sleeping at night, sleeping alone, etc., is simply a process that takes place individually, but at some point – I promise! – goes its natural course and will soon no longer be a problem for you.
As a mother whose children react completely differently in most situations, I know that there is no rigorous process and no time frame for getting sober, as for all other stages of development. The Montessori idea helps to stay relaxed, to perceive your child and their needs, and to gain confidence in the process. And very important: Let the others speak.
Incidentally, these tips can also be used on other parenting issues. Based on this, you will find good phrases that strengthen resilience and build self-confidence.
Because it goes so well with getting dry and gives us new challenges every day: Here are our tips on how to deal with the defiant phase.
What type of mother are you or are you becoming?
Image source: Getty Images / romrodinka
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