On today’s International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia, Interphobia and Transphobia, we spoke with gay couples from the Dachau district: About love, their lives and changes in society.
Sulzemoos – Arno and Andy have been together for over 23 years. On the International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia, Interphobia and Transphobia, they talk about getting out, their fears and what it is like to move to a village in Dachau’s hinterland as a gay couple.
International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia, Interphobia and Transphobia: Andy and Arno talk about their love
When Arno moves to the Sulzemoos area with the love of his life, he is scared at first. Fear of stupid sayings, of stupid looks. “I was afraid the other villagers would scare us away,” the 44-year-old says. In his hometown of Munich, he experienced public rejection at the time and had to endure hostilities because of his homosexuality. Arno is gay.
At their conference in Stuttgart in December, the federal interior ministers called for stricter measures against homophobia.
Gay couple: Excursion, the love of life
When he was 16, he told his mother. “She would not believe it,” he says. When he is 21 years old, he officially comes out. “My father has not spoken to me in a week.” His relationship with his father is no longer what it used to be. for now.
Then he meets the love of his life: Andy. After Arno and Andy are a couple, Andy also comes out. His relationship with his family also becomes problematic. Andy’s father also distances himself from his son. “He said I should move away,” Andy Viehbeck said today.
The two move together. “We lived for a year and a half on 34 square meters in Munich,” says Arno. They have been a couple for 23 years, in a partnership for 16 years and married for four years. Arno takes the surname. The two are one of 77 same-sex couples married in the Dachau district.
(Our Dachau newsletter keeps you up to date on all the important stories from your region. Sign up here.)
Villagers skeptical of gay couples
In 2003, they built their house in Sulzemoos municipality. The two now feel at home in the community. But that was not always the case. “The village community was skeptical at first,” Arno recalls.
Often, when it comes to a gay couple, people expect there to be a man and a woman in the relationship.
He is temporarily avoiding meetings with the boys’ club and the fire brigade. “I felt uncomfortable at first,” he says today. “Often when it comes to a gay couple, people expect there to be a man and a woman in the relationship.”
But the villagers quickly realize that Arno and Andy are not following this cliché. “People were impressed that we got involved in building the house,” he recalls. The villagers did not expect two gay men to drive an excavator and use hammer hammers. “People have seen that we are completely ‘normal’ men,” says Arno.
“Many people have the idea that gay men are birds of paradise. But that’s not true.”
“Many people have the notion that gay men are birds of paradise. But that’s not true,” Andy emphasizes. important. “Most importantly, transsexuals and transgender people still need to be accepted in our society.”
For the 20-year-old generation, homosexuality is completely normal.
How society views homosexuality
Much has already been done for the rights of homosexuals. At least on paper. Even today, many people find it difficult to be open to gay couples. Andy and Arno therefore do not want to read their exact residence in the newspaper.
But many things are better than before. “For the 20-year-old generation, homosexuality is completely normal,” says Andy. Or also for children. When the couple landed in Sulzemoo municipality, they met the then four-year-old neighbor’s daughter. “She saw us and said to her friend, ‘They don’t have wives because they’re gay,” Andy says.
The problem is often the children’s parents. He and his husband have often been compared to pedophiles. “It’s hurtful to be stigmatized by people who do not even know you,” Andy says. It was formative experiences for the gay couple. So influential that Andy initially did not want to adopt children. “I was afraid the child would be attacked,” he explains.
Adoption for gay couples: “It was unthinkable in Germany unless you had a fat purse”
In addition, before the adoption law was changed in 2018, it was very difficult for gay couples to adopt children, Andy explains. “It was unthinkable in Germany unless you had a fat purse.” Now the time for adoption is over.
Two upper Bavarians have fulfilled their desire to have children – with surrogacy in the United States.
Arno and Andy agreed that their desire to have children did not succeed. There are many children in the neighborhood. They also have a large family behind them both. “My grandmother, who was over 80, took my homosexuality very lightly,” says Andy. Incidentally, the speech at Andy and Arno’s wedding was proudly given by Arno’s father.
Lesbian couple: Angie and Dorothea talk about discrimination against gays
Angie and Dorothea Braun: Angi (63) and Dorothea (54) are from Dachau and live in the district.
“We have been together since August 1986 and have a son (35). When it was legally possible to form a civil partnership, we did so on December 17, 2004.
Unfortunately, Bavaria was the only federal state that implemented the federal law differently. We were not allowed to testify about our civil partnership in Bavaria in front of a registrar, but had to justify it with a notary, without ceremony or personal words, without witnesses.
The notary contract was read out to us in monotonous notary song, as when buying a property. It was very discriminatory.
When the law on the introduction of same-sex marriage came into force on 1 October 2017, in front of the land registry office on 24 November 2017, we transformed our civil partnership into marriage and, so to speak, married us. another time. But this time with a ceremony, a really nice speech by the registrar, witnesses and many colorfully dressed wedding guests. ”
Lesbian couple: Tina and Barbara
Tina and Barbara have been together for nine years and have two children together. The rainbow family is at home in Indersdorf.
Lesbian love: Manuela and Laura
Manuela and Laura: The 39-year-old medical practice manager Manuela and the 33-year-old curative education nurse Laura are a happy family with their daughter Leni. The lesbian couple met and fell in love twelve years ago and played women’s soccer in Röhrmoos. They live together in the Dachau district and bonded on October 10, 2020. “We became a real family in December 2020, when little Leni saw the light of day and has kept us busy ever since.”
Gay couple: Markus and Martin
Markus and Martin: Markus (50) is a pianist and lives in the Dachau district. He and his partner Martin (54) have been together for five years.
Mark tells: “Martin lives in Ingolstadt, and when I’m not out going to concerts, we love the country life around Altomünster. Martin has two daughters from a previous relationship, so we live like a real patchwork family – that was unthinkable for me a few years ago. But life is and will be exciting! Now that I’ve pretty much gotten rid of my own scissors, I’m keen to inspire other people to do the same. “
Lesbian couple: Caro and Laura
The two tell: We are Caro (32 years old) and Laura (29 years old), live in the Dachau district and have been married for a year and a half. We got to know each other in the classic way via the internet, our first date was in 2018 at Wintertollwood and since then we have been inseparable … “
You can find more current news from the Dachau district at Merkur.de/Dachau.