Children learn a lot from their parents. What they learn from us, they often take with them into adulthood. It is therefore particularly important how we and our little ones handle emotions.
A tantrum can occur in a child in many situations. Sometimes it’s just fatigue and he: she’s overwhelmed and irritable. Sometimes it can be about being able to watch another episode of your favorite series, getting up late or wanting to eat an ice cream, even if you were “not hungry at all” with the broccoli. But what is important for us and our loved ones is to allow these feelings and to understand them. Why is my child reacting the way it is right now? And what should I consider? Here are a few tips to help our children express their anger better and thus deal with it better.
1. Ask how your child is doing
Especially when it comes to anger, the parents’ first reaction is often to suppress the emotions. But it can be extremely important for your child to express his feelings and his mood. If they learn that it’s not okay to be angry, they may shut down in the future. And often behind the anger are other complex emotions that led to the situation. If your child is sad or perhaps offended, it can lead to anger because the emotions are overwhelming. So ask the question: How are you? Put words to the feelings and help your child understand what is happening inside him / her.
Emotions are allowed to be felt
Children are not yet able to regulate their emotions properly. As adults, however, we often do not understand our loved one’s emotional outbursts. One of the reasons for this is that we are already better able to reflect on our behavior and fortunately have not felt like a small child has it for a long time. When your child has a tantrum, the best idea is to stay calm and certainly not scold, judge or insult them. A half hour scream, just because you want to go from bathroom to bed? Instead of deciding for ourselves that our child is overreacting, we should consider point one and ask our child about it. Our children should not think that they are doing anything wrong with their emotions. They are their own little human being with their very own feelings that they should not eat up in the future.
Help express emotions
Young children in particular often lack vocabulary to express why they are angry. Or more precisely, whether they are angry at all. Children can learn to recognize emotions and describe them in the future. For example, it may help to give your child examples to clarify the picture of anger for him: her. For example, you might ask if the anger feels as big as an elephant or as strong as a lion. Music or crayons can also be tools that teach your child new ways of expressing themselves. Books or children’s series are also good helpers. For example, when the angry lion is actually so angry because he has a thorn in his paw – or the rabbit is angry because his friends left him alone and he is actually lonely. That way, your child learns how emotions arise and that anger is not always due to just one cause.
4. Let the children be children
Children are individual and versatile, just like all other people. Therefore, we should teach our children that they can be themselves and not slow them down. For example, if your child really wants to wear one of these shoes, but we think the others are nicer or more practical. It’s not a valid reason not to let him: herself make the decision. This can frustrate and irritate the little one. When the little ones start being their own person and communicating their desires, that’s something we should praise.
The exception, of course, is when it comes to putting on summer shoes in the winter. But as parents, we should take our time and calmly explain why it is not a good idea. Or even better: Let our child find out for himself. According to the motto: Do you think these shoes are hotter or colder than these? And further: Is it hot or cold outside? Try to let your child find the solution themselves and praise them for it. It also increases self-confidence at the same time.
5. Explain your own feelings
Children learn what we are an example of. We are their role models, and it is therefore important that we lead by example. So if you yourself have a particular feeling or feeling, share it with your child. Like yelling at you and hurting you in a fit of anger, even though he certainly did not mean it. Explain to him, “I was sorry you said that because …” and do not let your child guess. In themselves, they do not know how you feel or what caused it.
6. Be a good example yourself
Children absorb information like a sponge. If you overreact and shout in a situation, your child may adopt the same behavior. Therefore, be aware that you are a role model for your child. Seeing how to deal with your emotions also helps your child. Instead, teach your children the strength of positivity: Talking well about their own abilities will help your child learn to motivate themselves and recognize their own strengths. When your child is upset or stressed, let them know that things are getting better. Explain how he / she can react and the importance of feeling and expressing these feelings, even if they are temporary.
7. Go outside!
Fresh air is a true miracle cure. When you play on the playground or in the park, your child’s mood often gets better by itself, because being outside also helps the little ones to relax and take a deep breath. Being in nature with the people you care about just lifts your spirits.
8. Some reactions have consequences
A child is allowed to feel, to flip out now and again and be overwhelmed by their own emotions. That said, we should also tell them that it’s better to let the emotions sink in before you snap. To feel bad, for example, does not mean that they have to throw things in their anger, hit others, or throw bad words at us. Children need to learn that their actions can also have consequences and what their reactions lead to in other people. For example, grief or worry.
9. A sense of security
Probably the most important thing is to give your children an open ear. He: She should feel comfortable talking to you about her: Her feelings. The first step should therefore always be to be calm, to listen, not to judge and to be aware of the child’s feelings.
Used source: awarenessact.com