Kryptonite Man: Why there are people you just can not get rid of

It is not a scientific concept, and yet many feel understood and captured by the concept of kryptonite man and what is behind it.

Pop culture has again managed to explain a complex psychological phenomenon in a plausible way.

And the naming of such phenomena often enables many to acknowledge that they are also affected – but not alone.

Cartoon-inspired name for widespread phenomenon

Do you know the feeling of just not being able to get rid of a certain person? Even though the relationship was a long time ago, the slightest reminder of the person gives you extreme heartbeat.

Probably a lot of people have this one person. The phenomenon even has a name: kryptonite man.

A kryptonite person, this is someone you just can not let go of. A person you have had feelings for for years, even though the relationship has long since ended, you have lived happily in a new relationship for a long time, or even though a relationship never came to fruition. You rarely or never meet the person in your everyday life.

Still, a kryptonite person is your personal weak point. Like kryptonite, the DC Superhero’s Superman is the weak point – hence the term for the emotional phenomenon. Kryptonite is the only material capable of causing serious damage to the otherwise seemingly invulnerable superhero.

Idealization as a basis for kryptonite man

Psychologist Vivian Jückstock explains the phenomenon in an interview with Deutschlandfunk: “It is not uncommon for people to have their own demands and desires that are projected onto others. It’s about idealization. ”

The personal kryptonite person thus triggers a sense of fascination and is idealized. But not only the person himself, but also the togetherness corresponds to an idealization in the memories.

Although the kryptonite man is not a scientific concept, there are also psychological explanations behind the consideration, such as the key lock principle. This means that the partner is the key to a castle shaped by the past, by the family, by growing up.

He or she creates a familiar feeling. The relationship can also lead to pain through dealing with familiar things.

Do not enter into a relationship with your kryptonite human

It can be dangerous if the fascination is an addiction and not a distant infatuation. If the person is a part of your everyday life and you have some kind of relationship with your personal kryptonite person. Then it can also become a toxic relationship where one is emotionally dependent.

In such a case, you should leave the relationship as soon as possible and disconnect. Seeking psychological counseling can also help them in a toxic relationship.

What you can learn from your kryptonite human

But if your feelings for your kryptonite person are just a harmless infatuation, do not despair. Nevertheless, be aware that you are idealizing the person and sharing experiences. Most of the time, the memories were not as special as you imagine them to be.

Also use your feelings for your kryptonite human to reflect on your level of self-esteem. Projecting emotions on a particular person can also mean that you should work on improving your self-esteem.

You should also reflect on old experiences of separation and loss and try to process them.

If you have feelings for your kryptonite person despite being in a committed relationship, it does not directly mean that you need to break out of the relationship. Sometimes a kryptonite person can also be a reason to think about what is missing in your relationship.

This article first appeared on BUNTE.de.

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